Stop Press: Deacons rumoured to be signing big money strike duo
In a big weekend at the top of the table the top four sides - that's Oxted, East Grinstead, Lewes and the Deacons - met each other. And the big winners were Oxted, who beat EG at EG to be confirmed as Sussex Veterans' league champions for 2007-2008.Congratulations to Oxted from all of us Deacons. You were the best side throughout the season and deserve to be champions. Even Coxy has forgiven you for hurting his ears and we all love you - although Roger and Smithy haven't played since getting injured against you and may not necessarily subscribe to the above sentiment.
...oh and Stuart's still a bit sore about you lashing that ball at his head.
But anyway, we nearly all love you. Well done.
We had a really good game against Lewes. We won 5-1, but the game was much closer than this. Lewes were much the better side in the first 15 minutes. Ian, Chris and Andy did well to keep them out at the back. In the second half things went better for the Deacons and we created a lot of chances - and took a few of them too.
Kev scored 2 wonder goals. I call them wonder goals because they made most of us wonder why he doesn't do that more often.
Thanks to Paul and Chris who umpired a keenly contested match which threatened to reach simmering point a couple of times very well.
CHICHESTER 6 BRIGHTON 2
Saturday 1st March 2008A fairly poor game with some of the jammiest goals you'll ever see, especially from JC. Not to mention formation jug evasion (JC 2, Kev 2 and Adrian 2). We welcomed back Clive who had clearly heard from Smithy that it was inappropriate for a comeback from injury to last more than 15 minutes without another injury occurring.
Glad to add that Smithy escaped further injury this week though. Maybe next week he'll build on that by playing a game of hockey.
After a string of inspirational performances Coxy was promoted from 4th choice left back to 2nd choice sweeper. Team supremo Kevin White confirmed afterwards that wantaway utility player Martin Todd would face no further action for apparently refusing to come on to the pitch at half time as substitute for the non-functioning part of the midfield.
JUG EVASION - WE NAME THE GUILTY PARTIES
LUKE SKYWALKER - I AM YOUR FATHER
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OXTED 3 CHICHESTER 2
Saturday 9th February 2008A pretty good game. Smithy's 4th comeback of the season lasted no more that 15 minutes. Coxy's mobility was restricted by two unfortunate ear injuries. And Roger discovered what happens when an irresistable force collides with what was once thought to be an immovable object.
We didn't really expect to beat Oxted and afterwards we wondered why we hadn't backed ourselves more. As team captain Kevin White helpfully pointed out afterwards "If you spend a lot of time in the company of losers you start to develop a losing mentality. I guess we're just losers."
We received a warm welcome at the Oxted British Legion, one elderly local saying "we don't get as many old folks in here as we used to, so we're really pleased the Deacons dropped in this afternoon" before giving up his seat for Roger, who needed it more than him.
"NOW I KNOW WE'RE A BUNCH OF LOSERS, BUT I HAVE A CUNNING PLAN"
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REIGATE 1 DEACONS 2
Saturday 16th February 2008OUR ISLE OF WIGHT CORRESPONDENT WRITES
The Deacons travelled to Reigate in their latest encounter. In the first half the Deacons played some fluid fast hockey that caught Reigate on the back foot as the dazzling midfield trio of Crosby, Stills and Nash worked their magic to set up many chances. Stuart popped up to put the Deacons in front from open play and Neil Pacey made it 0-2 from a penalty corner, but just when the Deacons were cruising a moments hesitation allowed Reigate to push forward and score 1-2 at half time.
In the 2nd half Reigate pushed forward searching for an equaliser and the Deacons counter attacked on the break, both Pacey and JC were unlucky not to be awarded penalty flicks for two hacks in the Reigate penalty area. At the other end Reigate found it difficult to break down the Deacons defence, Andy Osborne had a memorable tree chopping session “weebles wobble but they don’t fall down” and in the end the Deacons were indebted to Jammo’s left knee and a very fine diving save from Ian Austin who said afterwards “I was only waving to the camera!”
BREAKING NEWS!
SCIENTISTS DISCOVER THREE LEGGED TWO HEADED MAN WITH MINIATURE BICYCLE ON END OF HIS NOSE
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WANTAWAY UTILITY PLAYER TODDY TAKES ADVANTAGE OF A RARE APPEARANCE IN THE STARTING XI
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FORMATION SUMO - OR IS IT THE HOCKEY HAKA?
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THE CHARGE OF THE HEAVY BRIGADE
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Saturday 26th January 2008
We beat Worthing but I can't remember the score - it was not a memorable match. My match report started....
As Bob Riley strolled to the top of the D before clipping in a crisp 15 yard stunner after only 2 minutes we all thought "this is gonna be real easy". It wasn't and after that it's all a blank - until I went home to watch England get beaten by Wales.
A TRULY FRIGHTENING SIGHT FOR ANY OPPONENT - FROM THIS ANGLE AT LEAST
NEIL FINDS THE SHEER PACE OF DEACONS HOCKEY IS ENOUGH TO MAKE EVEN A YOUNGSTER SWEAT
A. JC scores with a thumping shot
B. JC narrowly misses the target with a fine effort
C. JC's brave shot is thwarted by a spectacular save, or
D. None of the above
Answer below
Chief scientist Sir Jimmy I Dunnow explained "We're really pleased to have discovered the three legged, two headed man - it's pretty weird. But the team had set our to unravel the riddle of what JC is doing in this photo - that's really, really weird. For the time being, at least, it will remain a complete mystery."
SEVENOAKS 4 DEACONS 0
Saturday 26th January 2008A conspiracy. Done by a combination of pre-match bacon baps the size of large, well, baps. A radio commentator might have said "..and in team news, Sevenoaks make 11 changes from the side trounced 11-1 by Reigate last Saturday while Chichester stick with same same bunch of one paced old codgers". Ok then, Sevenoaks fielded an all star international select ringers XI (who were actually very good and good company in the bar too).
Someone missed a p. flick, but we won't mention that.....oops, too late
DEACONS 1 EAST GRINSTEAD SAINTS 1
Saturday 19th January 2008Grim stuff. No fun ... and no photos either.
GRATUITOUS PHOTO FROM CUP WIN OVER PENGUINS
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